‘Ew, omg that girl has a huge muffin top’
‘Does that kid ever shower? His hair is so greasy’
‘You never have money so we can’t do anything together, is your family poor or something?’
Judgment [without an ‘e’]
I once had a friend growing up who led me on a path that was left instead of right. Then I had another friend, who did the same thing. I went through High School and finally learned who the right people are to be friends with. You are who you associate yourself with.
In other words, my mother told me to remove myself from those friends and I disobeyed. In the end, I realized that I didn’t like those friend’s lifestyle and what they said and their opinions, etc. To help myself, I became distant and eventually nothing at all. Ever since then, that’s my solution versus confrontation.
You cannot change who a person is, they can only change them self.
They think what they do is right and no other influence can alter that. (Hey that sounds like me… or my mom) “Everyone isn’t as perfect as you Makay” Right…I’m perfect?
Nobody is. But what everyone has, is their own way of living life stemming from how they were raised and who taught them right from wrong growing up. There is no ruler preaching to humans how to live their lives. You choose what to do with your life on a daily basis.
So, if we can’t change one another, why do we judge?
What is the first thing you notice about an individual when you meet them?
I base my assumptions on their appearance to further who they are without even hearing their side of the story.
I remember talking about my class last semester where we had a very personal presentations about our insecurities and once I learned about my classmates, all judgment was released. The first day I stepped into the classroom my mind was made up about each person, freak, prep, annoying, teachers pet, what have you. Sounds like a high school mentality, but I learned, quickly.
Recently I mentioned the Golden Rule and how a person should be good to others and them self and this brings me to say that even though you can stand an individual for a certain amount of time, they might just be the person that will hold you up on your way down to the ground. Be aware of your actions and words towards other knowing that you may want them out of your life forever, but may also need them the most down the road.
I suppose this is a little redundant but it also seems to be a recurring theme in my life that I can’t pass. Even if something is said about another person in hiding, it still hurts them, whether it be karma or another ear relaying a message. This is where my journal writing comes in handy. Curing and overwhelmed brain and body can be done through writing and expressing yourself through an alternative outlet. (my posts do really tie into each other…)
Release
- journal
- run/exercise
- walk away
- build a fortress of your own that helps calm the mind
- take on yoga
- get enough sleep
- have a friend or other who is there for you to vent to
- read a book
- re focus, re evaluate and re do what was done
On the other end of the spectrum, if you find that other’s first impressions are weak and what makes your mind up, defeat that. If you think you’re meeting new people, prepare yourself to be the best you that you can be. Not someone else. If you’re not yourself then who are you?
Why assume?
For security and because we trust and believe ideas so easily. Without evidence and support, assumptions should be avoided at all costs. If there is doubt, simply ask before looking like an idiot, in which case we’ve all visited before. Another mistake I usually encounter is announcing things out loud that sounded 100 times better in my head.
‘Wow hair looks like a huge bird, that’s cute’
“Samantha your hair looks like a bird”
It comes out and gets interpreted the wrong way, especially if the receiver is just an acquaintance, your harmless observation becomes an insult.
I’ve also found myself in hypothetical situations where I assume a negative attitude is being played onto me when in fact nothing is happening. If there is no communication, then there aren’t any positive vibes all because of assumption and judgment.
I’m the biggest living evidence of someone who learns from her own mistakes. I used to think that I could do whateve
r I wanted to regardless of rules and it only led me to fail but days later, in punishment, i’d look back and teach myself to avoid similar situations for future reference.
At this point I’ve had enough guidance to bring myself to stay away from those friends that are nothing but trouble and to take the right turn before the left dirt road.
“We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started.”
― Henry Ward Beecher